Not a Happy New Year

A very sad day, I'm feeling very downhearted, I don't think I have ever looked into the future with less hope, less courage. I feel like my marriage is crumbling and there is no way that I can save it. My husband has gone the way I knew he would. I've known it for some time now. When he got into all the vedic stuff I knew there would come a day when he would decide in favour of celibacy. It's been a week since we've had sex for the last time and although he says we're still going to go for it, I know he will not enjoy it as much any more. He will be aware that he's "wasting his seed", his resources for growth, and I will feel just the way I'm feeling now - like I'm something dirty, some evil temptation that he's supposed to resist. From having sex every day to having it a couple of times a year - that is a very sudden and an extremely unwanted turn of events. When I got married I thought the only thing that could smother the flame would be some sort of alienation on my part or his, or getting tired of one another. That would be something that I could fight, that I could control. This religion thing is out of my reach, I see no way that I can mend it. I know for sure I don't want to live with him like a sister. If it goes on like this I will definitely get a divorce. This is so devastasting, I love him more than anything, but I can't go on knowing that I am an obstacle on his path, a way for him to test his weakness. We don't talk about it, in fact, I'm crying all the time in my room (yes, I've got my own room now where I can work alone), he sees the wet mascara, but does nothing, and I'm starting to suspect this is going to be the worst year of my life.