Red Current Semolina Mousse

For some reason or other I don't think people in other countries apart from Eastern Europe and the former USSR countries use semolina as much as we do. I'd like to show those of you who don't know this food how easy and delicious it is. In Latvian it is called "debesmanna" which literally means "manna from heaven" (mostly I believe because semolina is called "manna" in Latvian and also in Russian).
Let's start with some red currants. I personally am not a fan. There is no other way apart from mousse that I could ever eat these sour berries. (I might blame my Mom who ate truckloads of those when she was pregnant with me but sadly I am beyond the age when one is entitled to blame their parents, my dislikes are mine and I own them.)
So let's start by picking the berries. You can pick them with the stems, don't bother cleaning them, a little rinse under the tap is all it takes.

I can't tell you exactly how much you are going to need - but know this - the amount in the picture? Waaay too much. You can use any berries, syrups, jams, whatever you have handy.
Put the berries in some water - for the sake of an argument let's say two litres Boil them until the water gets pink and the berries get pale. (Unless you've chosen blueberries - you might not live to see them pale).

Now strain. (Don't strain yourself, just the berries.)

Now you've got some very sour juice (or not sour at all if you've been indulgent and used, let's say, raspberries).

I suggest you try just a bit - if it's very strong you absolutely must add water or you'll end up with something nasty. At this point you have to make something that seems fit to drink. Not too mild though but drinkable. So add sugar. Lots of it. I used two full cups. You might not need as much if you used sweeter berries or perhaps no sugar at all if you used some jam or other preserves (I don't recommend pickles or meat preserves for this type of dessert). Just experiment with the "juice" until it seems pleasant to taste. Now get it to boil and add semolina.

Now this is where it gets tricky (I bet you could see it coming, the trickiness I mean). I can't tell you exactly how much semolina you will need. It depends on so many factors, sometimes it even seems to depend on whether it's rainy or not or whether I am angry or happy. This time I used 19 tablespoons and it was just right. You must never pour semolina in a hot liquid from a cup or something, it will definitely get lumpy and you don't want that. You have to strew it from a spoon kinda like sowing seeds. (No, that can't be right. I have never nor have I ever seen anyone else sow seeds from a spoon.) As for the amount - the liquid has to get thicker but not thick like glue because semolina will swell. If you will add too much the mousse will be heavy and not frothy. So just add semolina intuitively and in a couple of minutes you will see. It will thicken. If you see that it's more liquid than thick, add some more semolina. Stir so it doesn't burn and boil for some 4-5 minutes. This is how mine looks. You might get some idea of the thickness from the picture.

Now let it cool. It has to be warm when you beat it but not hot. And not cold. See how pink it looks?

Now the magic part - take out your mixer and beat it for full five minutes. I just count to 300, works either way. I have a hand-held mixer that gets very hot after five minutes, and I don't recommend going on if that should happen to yours as well. And anyway, five minutes are enough.
Look at that dreamy frothiness! It's - I can't believe it - it's manna from heaven!

Now don't get discouraged by my lengthy and incomprehensible instructions, just try it if you haven't. You eat it with milk!

Oh, I could live on it! Ah, in fact I am. I have a full pan of it and it's too hot to cook anything else.

Compliments

Compliments are rare and hard to come by these days. For some reason - or no particular reason at all - the compliments so generously offered by my husband don't seem to do the trick just now. Perhaps I'm taking them for granted or perhaps I don't quite believe when someone calls me beautiful after a sleepless night spent on my bachelor's paper and work, work, work, there's always too much work and too few hours to do it. But yesterday I got a compliment that made me turn around and say thank you to a person I would most probably not even muster a smile for. Some neighbourhood bum told another of his kind - "there goes the woman I've always liked very much". And the simplicity of these words really got to me. It was like a bucket of water in a very long drought. Because these days I feel anything but pretty. I was flabberghasted, truly, to hear that somebody likes me very much. It made me change the way I've been looking at people lately. Someone that I smile at just to be polite might actually lift my mood at the most unlikely moments.

This night I have to work again after having spent the whole day on that blasted paper. But that's alright, it's finished now, printed out and awaiting the binding and handing in tomorrow morning.
In my despair to get everything done on time I've overachieved on heating the house and it's really hot here.
I've got a whole night's amount of work before I go to the city early in the morning, and I don't quite feel up to it. But here I am, and change is gonna come. And then some. That bachelor's paper, fondly referred to as "the Batch" around here, is about the weight-loss motivators and demotivators (it's not really a word, I checked) for adult women. It has made me think so hard at times it felt my head would explode. The whole 129 pages of pure emotions, obsessions, control-freakiness or helplessness, and still there is hope. Not for weight loss per se, but for peace of mind and for loving your body.
This staying up all night and translating movies and some pretty worthless stuff is not loving my body. I might say it's survival, but now I'm 129 pages smarter, and I know it's punishing myself.
So, good night, I'm off to do some work and then slide blissfully between the sheets, oh, I do enjoy sleep!

A Fresh Start, A New Page

I have actually found a pretty funny site about weight loss facts we all know, but I love the imbecile attitude of it. It's free and it offers the very basics - i.e. "you lose weight when you burn more than you consume".
For the fun of it I tried the calorie maintenance calculator which said that for my age, height and activity level I consume 2350 calories a day. The author suggests consuming 500 calories a day less than usual which should equal a weight loss of a pound a week. As I'm a European girl and pounds turn me off, I'd love to strive for a kilo a week which means I have to increase the number of calories I burn.
Further on the kind man explains that you should divide that newfound calorie number in 5-6 meals every 2-3 hours.
I know from experience that I feel best if I eat at 5 a.m., 8 a.m., 11 a.m., 14 a.m. and 17 a.m. That equals 370 calories per meal. It seems an awful lot if you ask me. Which means I can stick to this plan easily.
Then the man tells us that the right amount of protein for a person of appr. my weight is 90 grams a day - which is one egg! I take it to mean that if I have an egg a day I should be fine in terms of proteins.
So I'm cutting sugar, sticking to 370 calorie meals five times a day and weighing myself once a week. Let's see how that goes. Now I must get back to work. Tomorrow I will try to find an ideal workout plan.

Hi there, just a brief report

I haven't written in a long, long time.
Life has come full circle. Half a year ago I was desperate because everything changed in my life. Now it's all in the past. In time perhaps I will tell more. Now I will only say that my husband has lost faith in his newfound religion and is now living the way he was living before it. He has resumed eating meat and smoking (alas!) but his overzealous fanaticism was much worse than smoking. Pride comes before a fall, and he has crushed down from his ivory tower with a loud bang, and still, it's better that way. We both have learned a lot and come out all the wiser.

I'm back. In more ways than one. I have another blog which I am writing in my native language about and for children, but lately I've been more and more aware that I need a blog of my own. A blog where I might write about things that move me and touch me and do not necessarily concern children.
I have a fantastic woolen sweater for my dearest husband (and after being so close to divorce I can really say "my dearest" and mean it more than ever) on the needles, and I want to take care of myself more often, and I want to show off some work I'm doing in the garden and at home. I feel a need for a blog of my own - and what luck! I have just the thing!

I have so many things to do, so many debts to settle, so many bills to pay, so many pounds to lose etc. that it seems at times there's way too much on my plate to think about some growth and "me time". But I'm sure it gets better further along the way.

Life Is Truly Wonderful

Thanks to all those who commented on the issue of intimacy between a husband and a wife but I have to say, never in my life have I felt more loved, adored, cherished and spoilt than I am now. My husband has a whole new appreciation of me. I'm afraid I've been too graphic in the previous posts and I will not go into any details any more. Suffice to say, a man who has chosen a more spiritual path, is a true blessing to a wife, in all the aspects of life, bed included, even if the things we do are different from what we used to do there. Thanks.

A New Beginning

Thank God for blogging, it's a great way to vent one's feelings without really (hopefully) hurting anyone. I cannot talk to my friends about my marriage, that is out of bounds, I wouldn't do that. But I can blog. So when I began the "this marriage is going nowhere fast" conversation with my husband I was able to think more clearly and I had already worked out for myself what the most troublesome issues were.
The conversation was a long one, it took most of the daylight to sort it out (which is not that much at the moment, it gets dark shortly after 4 p.m.). The celibacy thing is certainly still on, but now we both are willing to try out new grounds. There's this whole tantra world in which the male is not supposed to be ejaculating and exchanging bodily fluids but still the feelings are supposed to be very strong. We'll see how that works out. I am willing to try. There have been times before when I would welcome a bit less sex so that I would have some creative energy to use for other purposes. One thing in my endless "to-do-before-I-die" list is writing a children's book. I don't necessarily have to have it published. It would just be nice knowing that I have begun and completed it - with illustrations and everything. My Mom is a painter, there's always the choice of asking her to illustrate my book, but I intend to at least try myself and if nothing works out, involve other people. So I'm hopeful.

Today I'm translating an old and a bit weird Michael Douglas movie "Falling Down". I have to finish it before going to bed. I'll get to that now, there's work for some 2-3 more hours, so - see you again, perhaps tomorrow. I have great plans for tomorrow.

Not a Happy New Year

A very sad day, I'm feeling very downhearted, I don't think I have ever looked into the future with less hope, less courage. I feel like my marriage is crumbling and there is no way that I can save it. My husband has gone the way I knew he would. I've known it for some time now. When he got into all the vedic stuff I knew there would come a day when he would decide in favour of celibacy. It's been a week since we've had sex for the last time and although he says we're still going to go for it, I know he will not enjoy it as much any more. He will be aware that he's "wasting his seed", his resources for growth, and I will feel just the way I'm feeling now - like I'm something dirty, some evil temptation that he's supposed to resist. From having sex every day to having it a couple of times a year - that is a very sudden and an extremely unwanted turn of events. When I got married I thought the only thing that could smother the flame would be some sort of alienation on my part or his, or getting tired of one another. That would be something that I could fight, that I could control. This religion thing is out of my reach, I see no way that I can mend it. I know for sure I don't want to live with him like a sister. If it goes on like this I will definitely get a divorce. This is so devastasting, I love him more than anything, but I can't go on knowing that I am an obstacle on his path, a way for him to test his weakness. We don't talk about it, in fact, I'm crying all the time in my room (yes, I've got my own room now where I can work alone), he sees the wet mascara, but does nothing, and I'm starting to suspect this is going to be the worst year of my life.